Grandmother of 5 loses TV rights during the World Cup, claims it is severely affecting her social life.

A resident of flat no. 45 in Vandana Society, Mrs.Mangalam is a grandmother of 5. Being an avid connoisseur of the latest and greatest in Indian soap opera, she heads the Vandana Society Saas Bahu Trivia Club or VSSBTC in short. They participate in monthly trivia duels with clubs from neighbouring societies. Practice gossip sessions are conducted every day in the society clubhouse where all the elders gather together and learn from each other, the tiniest details that they might have missed. Mrs.Mangalam is known for boasting about her borderline dictatorial control over her family’s only TV set.

However, since the ICC Cricket World Cup began on the 30th of May this year, she has lost all control over the TV. This took place thanks to an army of teenage and pre-teenage grandchildren which has descended upon the home, ironically on the pretext of spending time with their beloved grandma. With the summer vacations coinciding with the World Cup, it has become impossible for Mrs. Mangalam to watch her daily dose of serials, as the boys remain glued to the screen throughout the match. She tries to catch the rebroadcasts in the morning on the following day without much success, as the grandchildren are busy watching Sunil Gavaskar drearily rant about what pitch conditions the 3rd off spin swing bowler should expect towards the end of the 39th over.

“I cannot imagine how these children can sit without moving a muscle and glare at a TV for 5 hours straight,” she grumbled. After the neighbouring Desai Aunty pointed out that she does the same, Mrs. Mangalam broke down into tears, cursing her fate. “I have been going through a lot lately, my best friends too don’t like to be around me anymore and it is all because I don’t get to watch my serials”. Mrs. Mangalam continued sobbing hysterically as Desai Aunty tried to console her ineffectively.

Once an opening striker for her team at the annual trivia competition, she now struggles with remembering basic facts due to the disconnect with her on-screen buddies she was once so intimate with. This has lead to widespread despair amongst team members here at Vandana Society and rumours have been circulating about Mrs. Mangalam’s incompetence and how she is blaming her innocent grandchildren for it.

Today while addressing an emergency cabinet meeting held to tackle this burning issue, a teary-eyed Mrs. Mangalam went up to the podium and announced that she will be stepping down from the post of President of the VSSBTC and Mrs. Sulochana, the current Vice President will be Acting President in the interim period, until a candidate worthy of the post is brought forward. Mrs. Mangalam said that this decision was taken after a deliberate discussion by the jury and that it would be for the overall good of the Vandana Society Saas Bahu Trivia Club.

Amogh Jahagirdar

Baby I'm your nightmare, dressed like a nightmare...

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