Apple launches iPhone Pie

Earlier this month, Apple launched its newest addition to the iPhone series, the iPhone Pie, after iPhone ‘I’m no different from the rest’. This delicious-sounding version boasts of several features, especially in its appearance. It is still a debate if its name was inspired by the mathematical constant pi or simply the mono-syllabled delicacy.

For those who have the habit of stuffing their phone into their pocket (especially if you are a woman), it is probably not a good choice; for the screen size almost qualifies as a tablet. The frame was made of a newly discovered element, ‘YouCan’tFindMeium’, that would be only be found in the deep stretches of the Amazon river and is truly hard to extract. Many lives were risked while mining for this treasured element, but you can be assured that no animals were harmed in this act. The design is so sleek; it can tear apart the space-time continuum and break all of Newton’s Laws. In fact, there is research being carried out to learn if the rip in the space time continuum could actually serve as a portal for time travel. The phone is equipped with high performance ‘Deep Learning’ techniques that can tell you who you were in your previous birth, much to the distaste of astrologists. On the other hand, app-developers are having a hard time having to code in Jupiter’s magnetic field to meet the high standards of the development platform.

 Voice assistant, Piri, had made its debut with the voices of Beyonce and Bappi Lahiri both of whom were first intrigued by the gold finish of the back cover. In fact, Bappi Lahiri had to reject his offer for the umpteenth sequel of a Bollywood film to pronounce English alphabets and words for Piri’s database.

‘After we saw the advertisement, we just had to own it!’, says Sheela, who was suffering from FOMO* syndrome. Several Indian residents called up their distant relatives settled in the US, to grab the product for themselves (whom they otherwise would have never talked to).

Finally, if you feel rich again after clearing all your debts for getting this phone, and are still alive, you can get your hands on their next innovation, iPhone Xpensive (pre-bookings open). Until then, I’d recommend you to indulge yourself in some apple pie.

-Stealth Siva

Disclaimer: Don’t believe fake news. If someone says fake news is fake, don’t believe them either.

*Fear of missing out


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