How To Eat A Sandwich


The author who wrote this article has never eaten, made or touched a sandwich. Hence, readers are requested not to act in a way that would get him suspended.


For every newcomer who wants to ‘chill out’ and ‘have fun’, eating a sandwich is definitely on top of the list of things that need to be tried. Although there are a lot of risks involved in the act, it remains one of the top recreational activities in the campus, especially during exams and holidays. Apart from the impending danger of being caught by the authorities, there exists the risk of being caught by ‘friends’ who demand a share. Therefore, readers are advised to resort to secluded places in order to enjoy the aroma and taste.

After finding your spot and making sure no one is around, take out the ‘bread’. Now, make sure that the bread is dry, since some of the filling may stick to the bread. Be sure to let go of fear, shame, dignity and other similar feelings (in case you haven’t already). Now, take out the filling and place it on the bread. Make sure that the filling is placed evenly so that you get a smooth feel while eating. Do not leave any leftovers. If you have dropped any of the stuffing and are wondering whether to use it, do not hesitate to pick it up and put it back along with the bunch. However, do not attempt to ‘clean’ or ‘wet’ the filling. After making sure that the filling is held firmly, place another piece of bread on top to complete the sandwich. Note that the essence of the sandwich lies jointly in the quality of the filling and how well the sandwich was made.

While most people prefer doing nothing while eating a sandwich, there are a lot of things one could do in the meantime. You could contemplate on your life, but that would kill the whole fun of having a sandwich. If you find yourself becoming a philosopher after eating a sandwich, you can be assured that it is pretty normal. In fact, most of the masterpieces of art and literature were just byproducts of sandwich consumption. It is advisable to write down what you feel, as it can form as the base for an article in later life (this article was not written while eating sandwiches). Reading is advised as it kindles one’s thought-process and leads to productive output. Some people even prefer to eat a few sandwiches before writing their long assignments or while studying for difficult tests and exams. But every person takes up a unique flight while soaring high in the grasslands of the sky.

And that kids, is how you eat a sandwich.


If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and you, I would shoot myself twice.

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