Vada Poche!

After much deliberation and brainstorming, the Dean of Students’ Welfare (DSW) has mandated all exam invigilators to let students carry an oily masala vada and a cold cup of tea to their examination hall. This rule will be enforced from the next cycle test.

This new rule was brought about after a third year student fainted in the exam hall after the invigilators were brought an oily vada and a cold cup of tea to snack on while watching over the students.

“I don’t know what happened. One minute I was there, writing an exam, filling up pages, cursing myself for not having breakfast for the 468th day in a row. The next minute the invigilator is eating his oily masala vada right next to my desk, wafting the delicate flavours of fried onion and cholesterol toward me. I felt a little weak, and I think I passed out. That’s all I remember…” said the unfortunate student.

However, this new announcement did not go well with the Invigilators Association of NIT-T. In a statement released yesterday, they said, “We strongly condemn this new decision taken by the administration. No one respects us these days. Sitting in the back copying answers from their phones, typing answers out in calculators and passing them around, stashing cheat sheets in the flush tank in the bathroom, students think we don’t know anything. The only weapon in our hands is to eat the oily masala vada in front of them and hear their stomachs grumble. Now that is also taken away from us.”

The students were also a little unsure about the availability of masala vada in the campus. “See, thambi, the price of all essential commodities have gone up, no? This new tax is also there pa,” said the Anna who runs Staff Canteen, while trying to explain why the GST on a vada was more than the cost of a single vada.

This new rule saw a mixed response from the student community. While some students called it revolutionary, others weren’t very happy with it. “Why only vada? Why only tea? Why can’t I bring nachos? Why can’t I bring Hershey’s and Laban?” asked Mari, a powerful member of the DASA community.   

This little bit of news created quite a bit of furore in the campus this week. Students are struggling to comprehend the ramifications of this policy change. When asked to comment on this pressing issue, “Vada Poche” was all they had to say.   

– Stealth Shiva

Disclaimer: Don’t believe fake news. If someone says fake news is fake, don’t believe them either.