I feel lonely sometimes

 

When I lie in my bed and hear the distant voices of people laughing from the other side of the door,

When I feel like I’m going to reach the dark phase of painting like Rabindranath Tagore.

When I see pictures of a group with adorable hastags on social media.

When I search for ‘how to talk to people’ on Wikipedia.

When I wish for a new beginning.

When I ensure I keep this rhyming,

 

I feel lonely, sometimes.

 

I don’t know how to make those connections I made with people before.

I don’t know whether it’s the people around or it’s just me who’s not the same anymore.

I don’t know when will I ever know, if I ever know.

I thought these feelings are not for the ones who grow.

 

But apparently they are because I do feel lonely sometimes.

 

Be anchored in yourself they said, people will automatically come around.

Go talk to people they said, how will they know you care if you don’t even make a sound.

Stuck in the dichotomies. Of mine. Of time. Of ideas. Of dichotomies.

Stuck in between. To and fro. To and fro. To and fro.

These times make me wonder. Did I ever grow?

Between facing it on your own and reaching out to people that care, falls a shadow.

In which resides the feelings which always were.

Feelings which you would not wish to know about, beware!

And in that shade also resides something towards which I ran.

It was the new beginning I wished for and  thus I began:
“I feel lonely sometimes!”

– Keshav Goud
   Feeds alumnus (Batch of 2016)