What would your eulogy say?

What would your eulogy say?

A eulogy. Anything that related to death sounds a bit morbid doesn’t it?

Google may claim it’s simply a piece of writing, but, if you think about it, the eulogy is the coolest thing you’ve got going for you. A ton of accolades showered upon your limp remains, as it waits to either be burnt to a crisp or left in a pit for eternity (Hope you’re not claustrophobic). Ah. What a beautiful thought.

Then again, literature doesn’t always turn out right, take Hollywood movies for instance, insert a few tear jerking set of speeches at the beginning of every funeral, and suddenly, you don’t realise the big façade.

Your credibility lies in the hands of the appraiser, and quite frankly, if you have nothing to show, they’ve got nothing to say.

*Insert dramatic music*.Your very last Reco Letter to the world.

After all, only a few people would have memorable eulogies written for them, and barely anyone have them written years after their passing.

Maybe that’s the ultimate achievement – Ethereal Street Cred.

Here are a few samples for you to get a hang of things.

Let’s take Hitler for example.

“Manic and unstable leader, horrible husband and the worst person ever. Your leadership will always be remembered, and your moustache immortalised. Forever an inspiration for the officious.”

-*Insert word*-Nazi

Maybe we should tone it down? Who knows, visionaries may have had some great eulogies.

Tesla for example,

“Visionary, and a man ahead of his time. His views were revolutionary. If only someone had listened to him. Thank god. Thanks for everything. You were my everything.”

-Edison

What about fictional ones though?

Ramsay Bolton has amassed quite the fanfare.

“Your brilliance was worthy of admiration. If only you’d left the baby alone. ValarMorghulis. Doggie justice.”

-The Online World

Or the rare Desi flare,

Gandhi deserves a modern day eulogy.

“To the brother from another mother land. We owe you a solid.”

-Free Indians

Although these may have been pushing it, eulogies can be seen as an introduction before a graduation speech, where you’re the only attendee and it leaves you feeling legendary.

How do we get a great eulogy though?

Sure, posing a threat to the lives of people and imposing your crazy views may not be the way to go, maybe “making the world a better place” is your ticket to the greatest closing credit, but, why don’t we start small, set a target of sorts.

Say, better than Kanye?

Can we do it?

Yes! We Kan-Ye?,

Apologies. It had to be done.

In my case, if you asked me what my eulogy would be, I’ve bet my life savings on,

“He was like a platypus. He didn’t do much.”

Damn. Not very moving is it?

But what’s to be done? It’s what I’ve got to show. After all, it’s not like anyone consciously puts in effort to be remembered once they’re forgotten. Does that make sense? I hope it does.

As the average student slogs away at a factory in the middle of nowhere, or strives towards “the perfect CV”, one may wonder, what are you really working for? The perfect CV or the perfect eulogy? Live a lie or die a legend?

*BadumTsss*

– Suriya Arumugavelan